WRITING HACK: CUT FILTER WORDS
- Claire Bentley
- Oct 1, 2022
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 8
This is the first of a series of posts featuring writing hacks which will instantly improve your writing!
My aim for this post is to help writers produce cleaner and more effective drafts by addressing the issue of filter words.
WHAT ARE FILTER WORDS?
"Filter words are verbs that increase the narrative distance, reminding us that what we're reading is being told by someone rather than experienced, or shown, through the eyes of the character." (Louise Harnby: her excellent writing and editing blog is linked here)
Filter words include words such as think, feel, see, touch, realise, know, wonder etc. There are also phrases which have a similar effect, e.g. seemed to, looked like etc.
WHAT IS THE EFFECT OF FILTER WORDS?
When constructing your prose it can seem intuitive to write about a character hearing something, or feeling something, or realising something, as in the example below:
‘Emmy walked into the building and smelt grease and meat juice in the air. She was shown to a table and saw a paper placemat, chopsticks, and a bottle of soy sauce. The waiter gave her instructions about how to use the buffet (as if she didn’t know), and she felt her stomach gnawing at her while she waited for him to finish his explanation.
Five minutes later she sat at her table with her plate piled to what looked like chest-height. She speared a piece of chicken on her fork and relished the taste of sweet and sour on her tongue.
"Ooo look it’s Emmy."
She almost choked. The sound of the girl’s voice sent her body rigid and immediately made her want to curl up in a ball and hide in her chair. She felt her heart race as she watched her childhood bully strut towards the table’.
Not the world’s best writing, but – in my defence – I wrote it with a toddler sitting on my lap and poking me in the eye. Sometimes life is imperfect.
Now look at the same passage with filter words and phrases removed or reworked.
'Emmy walked into the building, into a cloud of grease and meat juice. She was shown to a table with a paper placemat, chopsticks, and a bottle of soy sauce. The waiter gave instructions about how to use the buffet (as if she didn’t know) while her stomach gnawed and growled.
Five minutes later she sat at her table with her plate piled to chest-height. She speared a piece of chicken on her fork and relished the sweet and sour on her tongue.
"Ooo look it’s Emmy."
She almost choked. The girl’s voice sent her rigid and immediately made her want to curl up in a ball and hide in her chair. Her heart raced as her childhood bully strutted towards her table’.
Obviously there are other ways we could improve this passage, but notice that the writing immediately feels improved. It is cleaner, punchier, and it draws the reader into the story.
Filter words place distance between the reader and the character. The reader is told that the character sees something, feels something, or thinks something, instead of the reader seeing, feeling or thinking these things along with the character.
There are occasions on which filter words are effective. For example, you may use filtering phrases to show a character coming to a gradual realisation. They can also be used to show a character in a dissociative state (e.g. 'I felt myself fading'), or to show distance between themselves and another character (e.g. 'I watched them all having fun'). Certain types of filter words or phrases may contribute to a character’s narrative voice, particularly if the story is told from a first-person perspective. Filtering is also more common in Middle Grade fiction.
However, most of the time filter words are not needed, and too many can drag a reader out of the story rather than drawing them in. It can feel intuitive to use filter words, but the reality is that writing is almost always improved when these words and phrases are omitted (unless used intentionally).
Filtering falls under the category of writing advice labelled ‘show, don’t tell’, and is one method you can use to show your character’s experiences and interactions with the world. By removing filtering language, you effectively allow the reader to experience the world directly through the character’s eyes, ears, skin and brain.
HOW CAN I USE THIS GOING FORWARD?
If you’re trying to draft your story as quickly as possible then – if you wish – use all the filter words you want, and edit them out later.
However, since I found out about filter words, I’ve become aware of when I’m using them (even in drafting mode) and I automatically either avoid them, or try to use them with intention.
No one is going to put down your book if there is the occasional filter word. However, it is easy to use them as a crutch. The more you use them without conscious thought, the bigger your task when editing and trying to remove or rework them.
CONCLUSION
Filter words increase narrative distance between the reader and the main character. In most cases, removing most or all filtering language in your writing will instantly improve it: by drawing the reader in and showing them what the character is experiencing, rather than telling them about it. If used with caution and intention then filter words can be used to great effect for characterisation, character realisations, and to add emotive or sensory nuance to a scene.
WRITING HACK SERIES
This is part of a series of blog posts featuring writing hacks which will instantly improve your writing!
BEFORE YOU GO…
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I would go even farther than this. In my own writing, I consciously developed a technique of writing that focused on what the character saw and cared about, using only the words the character would know and showing his concerns of the moment. (Mostly this was to avoid having to describe everything around him, which was material I never liked to read myself and had no desire to write.) As the author I've always believed I should be invisible.
For your Harry Potter example "Even as he dropped the fang and watched his own blood soaking his robes, his vision went foggy" I'd do some thing like this:
*****
He dropped the fang and looked down.
Warm. Wet.
Red.
So…